There wasn’t a lightning bolt. No dramatic moment or big medical emergency. It crept in quietly—like the way fall turns into winter. One day, I was running errands with my mom, and the next, I was coordinating her appointments and prescriptions and reminding her how to use her TV remote… again.
But the moment it really hit me?
It was a random weekday morning. I went about my day as usual. I hurried to get my youngest daughter to school while my oldest texted me about this and that, and then my phone rang. It was my dad. He sounded troubled. My mom had misplaced the electric bill and it needed to be paid. Mom had two strokes in the past and was getting bad about misplacing important documents—or throwing them away.
I remember putting the phone down and whispering to myself, “I think I’m the parent now.”
It wasn’t about control. It was about responsibility. Emotional. Physical. Financial. My parents, who once held my hands and caught me when I stumbled, were now leaning on me. And I was stumbling through it—learning on the fly how to keep their world spinning while managing my own.
The Shift No One Prepares You For
No one tells you how strange it feels when the roles reverse. You still see their wisdom, their history, and their strength—but now you also see their forgetting, their fatigue, and their fragility.
Dad has since passed. I still call my mom to ask her for advice on gardening or how to can food. But I also have to remind her where we put the calendar for her next doctor’s appointment.
It’s heartbreaking and beautiful. Heavy and holy. Exhausting and sacred. All at once.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re reading this and thinking, yes. This is me. I want you to know: you’re not alone.
The shift into caregiving happens quietly, but it doesn’t have to be isolating. We’re part of a generation balancing homework help and home health care—sandwiched between two generations we love fiercely.
Let’s talk about it. Let’s give each other grace and share what we’re learning along the way.
Have you had a moment like this?
When did you realize that the roles in your family were changing?
I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.
