“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion.”  Brennan Manning

There seems to be an epidemic of identity crisis running rampant these days. By definition, an identity crisis is “a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person’s sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society.” 

Social media and nightly news are plastered with stories of individuals who are desperately trying to find themselves. It’s sad to see the lengths that some are willing to go to in order to find meaning and to be happy within themselves. Sadly, many of these individuals never find peace. 

The world tells us that we are independent of our Creator. It encourages us to be whomever we want to be and do whatever makes us happy. We have become accustomed to having what we want and when we want it. We want instant gratification; instant results. The Christian is no exception. Even as believers, we tend to be sucked into this theology.

We put labels on ourselves. We try to create the perfect ideology of what we think we ought to be. From what we want to be when we grow up to fitting the mold in order to make friends. In this rabbit hole, we lose ourselves. We lose our purpose. I did.

These days I feel as if I have no purpose. In true military fashion, we’re still in limbo, waiting for orders. “Hurry up and wait” as always. My days are pretty mundane. I’ve boxed up as much as I possibly can. The girls are back in school and I literally cannot watch any more TV. I think I have seen the movie Tombstone more this past month than I have in the past two years!  I’m over podcasts and I can’t deal with audiobooks. 

Recently my therapist encouraged me to try and tap into the things that used to bring me joy. Currently, I am on a southern gospel binge. I’ve really dedicated myself to daily scripture journaling. I’ve attempted to start a prayer journal. It’s hit or miss at the moment, although I truly believe I feel better when I stick with it.

I am finding that the things that brought me joy centered around God. From spending time with Him to fellowshipping with His people. I have already started searching and praying for a church home when we return to the states. There is one in particular that I am excited about and feel led to. I find myself looking forward to the services that are streamed weekly. 

In kickboxing sessions, the trainer constantly reminds the class not to listen to negative thoughts. Easier said than done, right? But she’s right. It was once said that whatever we believe will manifest on the outside. I question whether or not I had been self-sabotaging myself with negative thoughts. Did I actually believe that I had no real purpose as I had told myself and vocalized?

Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” According to scripture, the delicate, inside elements of our bodies were all fashioned by God. He created us when we were still in our mother’s womb. We were marvelously complemented. God created us with great love and care, and He was aware of who we were and who we would become!

We didn’t simply become who we are by accident. We were made with a purpose in mind when we were developing. And while our blueprints are similar to those of other people, they do not completely match. Both you and I are special.

The good news is that your life has a purpose! To truly understand this, our goal is to move away from ourselves and the self-centered desires that might constantly govern our thoughts and actions and to give God our whole existence. In other words, it is about Him, not about us. Our lives are to reflect the light of who God is and what He has done.

We are to worship God from the minute we wake up. We are to praise God on our way to work. When the rumor mill begins to grind in the break room, we are to praise God. We are to praise God via our work ethic. We are to honor God when we are acknowledged for going above and above in our work performance. When tragedy strikes unexpectedly, we are to praise God. We ought to praise God when we are perplexed by what He allows in our life. When we elevate our hands in praise, we are to exalt God. When we are annoyed by another individual, we ought to praise God. When someone we trusted betrays us, we are to praise God. When we take our last breath in this life, we are to praise God.

We’re here to exalt God… end of story! We accomplish this by directing people’s attention away from ourselves and toward His goodness, by sharing what He has done (particularly in spreading the gospel), by trusting Him through our hardships, by living in obedience to His plan, and by remaining in a soul-satisfying connection with Him. And the possibilities are limitless because He is endlessly wonderful in both who He is and what He accomplishes. Is there any higher reason to exist than the one God has given us?

Only one thing can fit in the hole that was designed into your soul at its core. You won’t be happy until you discover that one thing, and it must be quite particular! God, Himself is that very distinct item. You were created with a strong need for God, your Creator. You will never feel whole or as though you have a purpose until that void is filled.

The Hebrew term for life is soul, and another phrase for vocation is life work. When you choose to live in obedience, your vocation (life job) becomes who you are from the deepest part of your spirit, not something you do. It can only be from the Lord if your calling dwells in your soul.

Do you believe you are unqualified or under-equipped? God does not want a servant who knows exactly what to do or say. He wants someone who knows she can’t do it on her own but thinks God can accomplish it through her. God has already given you all you need to do His will. He works in and through you!

I struggle with negative thoughts. I also struggle with leaving my burdens at His feet and walking away. Because of this, I suffer from anxiety. I can be impatient, wanting that instant gratification I mentioned previously – or at least some reassurance! However, in reality, there are times, it will take time to uncover and comprehend what He has in store for us. His path and purpose are as distinct as yours.

So, what labels do you put on yourself? Do you truly believe them? How can you break free from this thought process?

If you are struggling, please know that you are not alone. If you need someone to pray for you or even with you, feel free to email me. I would be more than happy to be there for you! Remember, Jesus loves you and so do I! I’m glad to call you a friend