There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. ― Mistral’s Kiss
Depression is a liar. It conveys the message that we are unimportant, alone, and without value. Depression may be seductive, and its falsehoods can be difficult to get rid of, even though we know in our hearts that these things aren’t true.
In the United States, depression is exceedingly prevalent and has become an epidemic. Although depression affects more than 7% of adults, the greatest incidence is seen in those between the ages of 12 and 25. Moreover, an estimated 3.8 percent of the world’s population suffers from depression, with 5.0 percent of adults and 5.7 percent of persons over 60 years of age being afflicted.
Depression is different from common mood swings and fleeting emotional reactions to problems in daily life. Depression may develop into a significant medical illness, especially if it is recurring and of a moderate to severe degree. The afflicted individual may experience severe suffering and perform badly at the job, in school, and in the family. Depression may, in the worst cases, result in suicide.
A depressive episode lasts at least two weeks and is characterized by a depressed mood, described as sad, irritated, or empty feelings or a lack of enjoyment or interest in activities for the majority of each day. Other signs may include difficulty concentrating, feelings of excessive guilt or low self-worth, feelings of despair about the future, thoughts of death or suicide, disturbed sleep, changes in eating or weight, and feeling particularly exhausted or short on energy.
I have battled depression for a few years now. In 2018 I remember sitting on the edge of the bed, feeling depression begin to seep into my chest. Three months prior, while in the process of moving across the US, my parent’s house was destroyed by fire. They were pet-sitting and I lost my 9-year-old Chihuahua in the fire. Shortly thereafter, three days in the new house over 1700 miles away and my husband had just left for a six-month deployment. I was facing the emotional turmoil of the events of the past few months to weeks; an injured shoulder with the threat of surgery with no support – emotional or physical.
Despite feeling depression creep through my veins like black sludge, I still had no idea what I was 
facing. There were days that I would be fine if this world ended for me. But there was one thing that kept me going. I knew my two dogs needed me. I was all they had and depended upon me for survival. So I pushed through the darkness. For them.
I became very dependent on them. I did not like leaving them for a moment. I still don’t. It was then I understood the need some had for Emotional Support Animals (ESA). My husband noticed the change in my personality. Once rational, I was now more emotional. A friend, who is a counselor, mentioned PTSD. I begged for help but kept being put off.
Two months before we left for Korea, I began therapy. The first therapist blatantly told me to “just get over it.” Novel thought, right? I stopped seeing him. The only positive outcome was that Cooper (pictured) did officially become my ESA. It was only after the trauma last year that I received help.
I began therapy in late summer. I was diagnosed with not only PTSD and depression but separation anxiety disorder as well. The weekly sessions really helped. My therapist helped me recognize my emotions and what I was feeling. She brought art back into my life and journaling. I still have bad days; days that I want to hide from the world, and days that I only want to be with my dogs. She also helped me truly understand why my thought patterns had been so vague and chaotic, especially here lately.
I’m pretty isolated here in Korea, so my daily routine is pretty lonely. In fact, there is a constant sense of loneliness. Music and journaling help. My workouts have dwindled to nothing. I don’t get outside as much anymore, either. Food choices are a little different here as well. Healthy options don’t last long and options are limited. All these things would help combat what I’m battling.
Additionally, I’ve learned that there is a correlation between anemia and depression. This is something that I never faced but was continuously asked about it while I was in the hospital. After seeing the lab results, I can see why. Maybe it plays a part, maybe not.
Depression, anxiety, sadness, fear, anger, worry, jealousy, and loneliness are usually equated to negative emotions. Many heroes of faith exhibited these emotions. God, Himself, says he is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). God designed these emotions to be a warning sign. Some say that anxiety is a precursor to depression and is often a reaction to one of life’s stressors. Depression emerges when one shuts down when anticipating danger.
So what does that mean to the Christian who suffers from anxiety or depression? Can a Christian even be depressed? Aren’t we supposed to be joyful? Doesn’t accepting Christ as our Savior fix everything?
The simple answer is yes.
First of all, if you have or think you have depression you need to take it seriously. Please, do not brush it off as an uncomfortable moment. Pay attention to what you are feeling and what you are thinking. You’re not being punished. You’re not separated from God. In fact, you need to seek Him. Our emotions are spiritual warfare, and believers are no exception. Indeed, the more you live for Christ, the more dangerous you are to the devil.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord (Isaiah 54:17, KJV).
As I said, depression is a liar. So is satan. Don’t believe the nonsense the father of lies spews. You do matter. You are loved. You are worthy.
Whether you realize it or not, this phase of despair is providing you with true empathy for friends, family, and colleagues who are experiencing similar difficulties. Prepare to share your personal experience with others who are hurting emotionally and psychologically. Have open discussions with your Christian brothers and sisters. Connect with nonbelievers—and consider how tough it would be to overcome despair without Christ’s purpose. Remember, just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean you have to pretend your life is great. But you may guide folks to a Savior who understands our pain and longs to sit with us in it.
Emotions change and can change frequently. Life is a journey, and the lows do not stay indefinitely. But if the darkness persists, don’t fight alone. Check with your local church. Reach out to a Behavioral Center near you, or find an online service like Betterhelp. There are also sites designated for Christian counseling. It’s important to find what works best for you!
Just know that you are not alone. You are loved. Never forget that. And never give up! If you need someone to pray for you or even with you, feel free to email me. I would be more than happy to be there for you! Remember, Jesus loves you and so do I! I’m glad to call you a friend.
