I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself in now and then finding the smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. ISAAC NEWTON

Ever since I married into the military, I’ve dreamed of a close-knit community and connections like what were shown in Lifetime’s Army Wives. The whole show was a farce, as anybody who has spent more than a minute in the military world would soon inform you! Relationships are not something that simply happens. To be like Claudia Joy was my goal. Even when we were only dating, I expressed my desire to be engaged and active within the military community. Existence was not what I wanted. I’ve spent years establishing relationships and showing hospitality in the community and the church. Having spent many months in the military environment, those sentiments of optimism quickly faded.

When I learned that we were moving back home, I was once again hopeful to be plugged into the community. I prayed for God to use me and allow me to serve as He served.

We live in a small town, about 30 minutes from my hometown. This town is where my grandparents grew up. Before World War II, this is where my grandparents got married. My oldest is set to graduate from the very same high school that my grandmother did in 1942. This was a town of refuge—a place to get away from the chaos of a drug-ridden, corrupt, and crime-ridden city.

Thomas Wolfe was right. You cannot go home again. Both my hometown and this small town seem to have blended their values.  I have witnessed more self-seeking and presumptuous individuals since moving here. Some residents are welcoming, but business owners imply that outsiders are not valued. They don’t feel as though they bring anything to the table. And the “good-old-boy” system is alive and well.

“And whoever exalts himself will be ^[a]humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12, NKJV). 

Individuals form lines to do things that are valued, glamorous, or vital. People value titles and status. Pride and conceit ruin relationships.

However, Jesus exhibited humility by taking on jobs that nobody else wanted to undertake.

Serving others and being humble are signs of love. Worrying over our perceived inferiority should not be a waste of time or energy. Jesus said that those who were helpless, submissive, and meek were the greatest—not the rich, leaders, or heroes. We are called to meet the needs that we see, regardless of our own or their identities. Recall that Judas, who eventually betrayed Jesus, was a servant of Jesus.

Pride and arrogance are obvious among the rich, the successful, the powerful, those in power, and religious leaders. However, most don’t recognize pride in themselves. Pride is how the devil became the devil. It kills communities. It destroys relationships.

Pride eventually led to Adam and Eve’s banishment and the damnation of humanity by luring them to doubt God. Their ambition to emulate God took precedence over their previous focus and faith in God.

Pride severely hinders our ability to love other people and have a close relationship with God. God and pride cannot coexist. People get larger, and God gets smaller. Humans elevate themselves above other people and God. Pride rises. When pride grows, arrogance and even violent behavior ensue, causing harm to others.

In actuality, individuals who are aware that they are in the presence of the living God are by nature humble. Our perceptions of God and ourselves significantly impact our interactions with others. It is hard to deceive, cheat, and lie when you are consumed with the Holy Spirit.

Developing a close relationship with God will reorient us from self-centeredness to focusing on others and their needs. As we reject being consumed with ourselves and our own significance and instead strive to love and serve others, it refocuses our mind on serving and caring for others, just as Jesus did. This is especially potent countercultural evidence of Christ’s presence and reign in our lives amid the narcissistic society of modern America.

We become hungrier for God’s message when we are humble. It allows the Holy Spirit to enter our hearts. It enables Him to converse and engage with us on a genuine level.

1. Keep things in perspective. God’s in charge. Not you.
2. Pray for discernment and guidance in all decisions.
3. Pray for a humble heart.
4. Remember, you’re not perfect. Remove the speck of wood from your eye before judging others (Matthew 7:3-5).
5. Do not praise your actions or worship for the sake of theatrics.
6. Serve others.

It takes time to acquire the traits, mindset, and behavior of a humble servant. Giving up one’s pride and pursuing humility is a process. This is accomplished by making conscious decisions each day to rely more and more on the Holy Spirit. We become more humble as a result. For His benefit, we may be used and exalted.

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up” (James 4:10, NKJV).